Marriage is a sacred relationship. There are so many beautiful moments to living together, but at the same time, there are some challenges that each couple faces. One of the weird yet common traits in married couples is keeping a score. It is a behavioural pattern and it can appear in a person for multiple reasons.
But, the question appears here, is it good to keep a score in marriage?
You must also know the answer that, no, it is not.
You are not competing with your partner, so keep score and use it when you have a quarrel to secure your win.
In any relationship, it is normal that either of the partners is more intelligent, physically strong, empathetic, financially stable, and successful. Never use this to compare your partner with your success to show who is better in this relationship and why the partner has to listen and follow you. Every individual is unique and has some unique traits. As a life partner, you must help your partner thrive in life by working on the weaknesses and never letting your partner feel weak due to your success.
One of the major reasons behind keeping score in a relationship is the stereotypical roles of husband and wife. In many families, still, some chores such as grocery shopping are defined to be done by the wife. On the other hand, husbands have to plan a destination wedding in Denmark. This is the 21st century, in which, both husband and wife are individuals with their own personality, attitude, stability, and opinions. Live the word ‘partner’ in the real sense. Do not follow the same traditional rules and score each other.
One more reason that drives couples to keep score is high expectations. Each individual is different and they have their specific needs and expectations. In a relationship like marriage, it is necessary to have an open discussion with your partner about your expectations. On the other hand, partners need to be open to criticism and expectations. Give your 100% to meet the expectations of your spouse. For any reason, if you cannot live up to the expectations of your partner, take time to apologise and make it up to them. Besides, do not score your partner for not meeting your expectations.
If you keep score, you will not keep your mind open to listening to your partner and his or her side of the story. This can make your relationship bitter and cause issues in your married life. You may also lose the trust of your partner for not trusting him or her back.
In a nutshell, the worst thing you can do in a relationship is to keep the score and think to settle down the score. Keep your mind and heart open for your partner. Let go of things rather than a relationship.
If you are feeling that you are giving more and not receiving enough to make you feel good about this relationship, you can talk to your partner. Try to spend some quality time and settle things to enjoy the beauty of your relationship.